Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

7 Ways The First Day of School is Like a Heavy Metal Concert

I guess I'm really going to have to change the name of this blog.  Both my kids are in public school now and they started today.  I want to pour my heart out in this post and explore all my conflicted feelings along with all of my founded and unfounded fears, but instead I will tell you why going to the first day of school is like attending a heavy metal concert.

I attended a lot of hard rock shows back in the day and dropping my kids off this morning brought back those memories for me in the seven following ways.

1) When you get there, nobody really knows where they should be going.  They all just follow the big mob.  
Photo by Enric Turull Source

           2) There is a feeling of excitement in the air but nobody looks happy.

3) Everyone pushes towards the front of the entrance, the way concert goers move towards the stage.  Unless you plan on starting a mosh pit, you are unable to to move in any direction.
4) It's intimidating!  Everyone is scary and you're not sure if you really belong.

5) There is no order.  It is total ANARCHY!  Nobody is lining up on the first day or watching their behavior.  All last year's conditioning is gone. Social norms are out the window.  There are kids and parents and backpacks and pencils everywhere with no regard for the powers that be.

6) The press.  The paparazzi parents are all over on the first day of school.  If you're not careful you'll be blinded by flashes and you might find yourself in the background of a gazillion Facebook photos in the most unflattering of positions.
7) Finally, it is LOUD. Between the

 7) Finally, it is LOUD. Between the squeals of happy tweens greeting their friends and the wails of crying preschoolers wanting their moms, your ears could be ringing for the rest of the day.

squeals of happy tweens greeting their friends and the wails of crying preschoolers wanting their moms, your ears could be ringing for the rest of the day.
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"A Bird Pooped on My Mom's Shirt" (Public School Joys)

As I have previously mentioned, this is the first year I am homeschooling at all.  I homeschool my fourth grade daughter.  My son goes to public kindergarten.

Upon picking up said son from school this afternoon, I was told that he wrote a story about me in class today.  Now being that he is in kindergarten, they are not expected to know how to spell everything.  They are just supposed to stretch the words and do the best they can.  Still, I was touched that he had decided to write about me, his mommy. 

After piling into the car, belting in, and commencing driving, I asked C what he had written about exactly.  He said, "I wrote, 'I went to the boardwalk with my family and a bird pooped on my mom's shirt."  He and my daughter then laughed hysterically for the rest of the ride home.

My first question was, "Did your teacher know what it said?"  I figured there was a chance that, since they are on their own with trying to sound out the words, nobody would know what it meant. 

He said, "She didn't know until I read it aloud to the whole class. Oh also, I made a picture so she could see it."

Next question: "What did she say when you read it aloud and showed her the picture?"

Answer: "She, and the whole class, laughed."

Okay, well laughing is good, I guess.  I'm glad my bird poop misfortune has brought joy to the students and staff.  At least he's not in trouble.

"Wait, C, one more thing.  It's not hanging up in the hallway or anything, right?"


"Phew, okay.  So, can I see it then?"

"No, Mrs. B said she is going to show it to a special teacher."

A special teacher?  Uh oh!  My first thought was, "OMG, he's in trouble!"  But after more questioning it sounded like all the kids' papers are going to the special teacher so I am thinking (hoping) maybe it is to look at where they are with their writing.  Still, of all the things to be passed around and analyzed why oh why did it have to be this one?

Another, often overlooked, benefit to homeschooling is definitely PRIVACY!

(The picture above is not the original picture he made since that is with "the special teacher."  This one he made just moments ago to show off to me what he had done in school.  He is very, very amused by the whole situation and loves how he made the whole class laugh.  I only hope this does not encourage him further- the kid definitely has a lot of dirt on me...)
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